goodnight! i’ll check the rest of my messages once i get on tomorrow! x

Anonymous asked: I love you, you're such an inspiration. You're just so strong. Please keep staying strong, hun. <3 By the way, how do you feel about the fact that girls think they're "anorexic" just because they hate themselves and just want to become skinnier?

thanks, love. <3 

that annoys me so much. okay, yes. a lot of girls hate their appearance & want to become skinnier. but just because you’re starving yourself doesn’t mean you’re anorexic, no. you just want to be skinnier & you hate yourself. that’s all. you’re not anorexic, & you don’t have an eating disorder. you just want to lose weight, like 99.99% of the female population out there.

Anonymous asked: whats having bulimia like?

i always get this question, or something similar to it.

bulimia & just eating disorders in general are a living hell. you’re only focused on getting skinny. there’s a voice in your head that’s constantly telling you you’re fat, you’re ugly, you’re not good enough. it compares you to every skinny/pretty girl out there. everyday’s a struggle. you don’t know whether to eat or not, or how you’re gonna lose those calories you just consumed. & if you do eat, you feel awful. worthless. ugly. & worst of all, fat. you get so angry with yourself. & since i have bulimia, i eat. i eat, eat, eat. & i hate it. i’m so disgusting, it’s not even funny. i want to purge, but i promised i wouldn’t anymore. i’m in recovery, but i can’t take it anymore. i’m gaining weight, & i can’t stand to look at myself in the mirror for more than a minute. so i want to cut, but i can’t do that either. i’m losing my mind, & i don’t know how i’m still sane. seriously, i don’t know how i’m doing it. starving myself used to be so easy for me, but since i’ve been in recovery, i can’t even skip a meal. it’s so hard. having an eating disorder is hell on earth. so many people can tell you you’re skinny, but you don’t believe it one bit, that voice in your head takes over. it gains control over you, & you just lose yourself. you feel so empty, like, once you develop an eating disorder, you can’t be happy anymore. i don’t know, it’s really hard to explain.

but see, those were just the emotional things bulimia does to me. of course, i have all the other symptoms/physical characteristics for having bulimia, but let’s not get into that. i should really start studying for my finals. lol, k. goodnight, lovely. x

p.s. if you’re just gonna leave me hate, don’t bother. i really don’t care for your opinion. plus, you probably don’t know what having an eating disorders like, so just leave. ‘cause all you’re gonna do is make yourself look stupid, k.